Skip to content

A Visit to the Doctor's Office

Dreams2 min read

Normally it's hard to remember dreams, but I remember yesterday's. This dream was about a visit to the doctor's office. It was vivid. It felt almost like a memory. It was triggered by an appointment reminder I received when checking my phone in the early hours of the morning. In the dream, not only did I see the one doctor, but all of the doctors I had ever seen in person. It turns out, I've seen quite a few.

A Doctor's Misunderstanding

A while ago, I went to the hospital for an allergic reaction. It was an unusual allergic reaction that had me worried. One thing led to another. My health was at risk of deteriorating. With my best interest in mind, the resident physician used the Baker Act on me while I was visiting family. Although my psychological issues were relatively mild, the only beds available in the hospital at the time were in the behavioral health ward. Kill two birds with one stone. What could possibly go wrong?

Unfortunately, a place like that has a tendency to draw the craziness out of you and people around you. My sister suspected the worst, even though she wasn't supposed to know I was being admitted into behavioral health. As a cancer doctor who sees death every day, she thought about how my situation could also involve life and death. The resident psychiatrists were used to seeing mentally unstable patients. To them I was another checkbox to cross off their list. Another case to solve. Yet, I was only admitted there because there were no other beds available and my condition had a risk of deteriorating. Deteriorate, it did. Just not in the way anyone expected.

A Rebirth

While I was in the hospital, I tried to make the best of the situation. I made new friends. I met several interesting people. Most of them were worse off than me. Some of them voluntarily admitted themselves. Others were there involuntarily like me. The first few days were the toughest. My first roommate saw the worst of me, but things got better after a few days. Modern medicine did help. My diagnosis was general psychosis—a mental breakdown. It made sense.

I wouldn't have reached that conclusion without some help. Then again, I was being evaluated by doctors who were much smarter than me and were experts in their field. Through this process of recovery, I realized there were several people by my side. I had friends, family and even people I'd just met see the best in me. It helped me start to regain my faith in humanity. I had been knocked down, but I was coming back stronger than before.

In this dream, I had a cathartic conversation with all of my doctors because I finally understood them and they finally understood me. It was still a dream, but it helped me find inner peace. It helped me close a formative chapter of my life and start a new one.